“I’m still waiting for my Ponlop Rinpoche app for my smartphone”

Picture of Ponlop Rinpoche, Buddhist author and Karma Kagyu Tulku, son of the 16th Karmapa’s labrang, reincarnation of said Karmapa’s deceased brother, brother of Ogyen Trinley Dorje’s labrang, but best known these days as that Tibetan lama that is on his second marriage, just had his first child, and recently changed his name to Rickey Arias, the old man instagramed to illustrate this episode of Pulp Buddhism in which the Naropa Prairie Dog Players discuss how all things vajrayana are so hopelessly complicated…

Sally begins.

“Several boyfriends ago I dated a Ponlop fan boy who considered the vajrayana to be something akin to a science experiment.”

Caroline replies.

“Where does Rinpoche find these people?”

Sally replies.

“He fancied himself some kind of Drukpa Kunley.”

Virginia replies.

“That’s just wrong view leading to wrong conduct.”

Sally pauses.

“Not to change the subject can somebody tell me why there isn’t a Ponlop Rinpoche app for my smartphone yet?”

Sally continues.

“Brainscape but for the vajrayana.”

Caroline replies.

“All things vajrayana are complicated.”

Caroline adds.

“There is no guru yoga app.”

Caroline pauses.

“Yet.”

Virginia replies.

“The Vajrayana could not be simpler.”

Virginia pauses.

“Do what Rinpoche tells you to do.”

Sally replies.

“Even when Rinpoche changes his name to Rickey Arias?”

End scene. Fini.

Another episode of Pulp Buddhism brought to you by the Naropa Prairie Dog Players and by viewers like you, thank you for your support.

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19 Comments

Filed under Buddhism

19 responses to ““I’m still waiting for my Ponlop Rinpoche app for my smartphone”

  1. Seth

    Eeewwww! Please put up a new post Ricky makes me gag!

    Anything to not see that shmuck’s mug on my desktop….

    Oh god, anything…

    Nasty…

    • Sally begins.

      “I don’t understand.”

      Caroline replies.

      “Too much Ponlop Rinpoche syndrome.”

      Caroline continues.

      “It happens.”

      Jonathan replies.

      “Ponlop is a perfect example of this.”

      Caroline replies.

      “At first you can’t get enough of Rinpoche.”

      Jonathan replies.

      “It never lasts though.”

      Caroline replies.

      “Being sick of the guru is not outside the scope of our practice.”

      Sally replies.

      “It’s all part of the process?”

      Caroline replies.

      “If Rinpoche is your guru it’s no skin off his nose what you think of him.”

  2. Jane

    What’s so bad about Rinpoche?

    Yes, he gets a bit glitzy from time to time and his rebel Buddha gimmick really didn’t stand the test of time, he is an authentic Tibetan Buddhist dharma teacher. This is nothing to shake a stick at.

    Rinpoche is human. He makes mistakes just as we all do. His changing his name to Ricky is his own business. As is his decision to mary, have a child and keep it private.

    We have rights here in the West and Rinpoche exercises his. Nothing wrong with that!

    • Seth

      I still think he is an opportunist and a businessman trying to cull an empire for himself.

      I wish Virginia would offer her lama advice.

      I must be misguided.

    • Caroline replies.

      “Unless your practice is the Vajrayana.”

      Jonathan adds.

      “Nothing is outside the scope of the guru-disciple relationship.”

      Virginia replies.

      “We are talking about a Rinpoche.”

      Virginia adds.

      “We shouldn’t.”

      Caroline replies.

      “I beg to differ.”

      • Seth

        Well he seems to need to go back to school for his semen retention practices.

        A Rinpoche he may be, but quality is he?

        • Sally begins.

          “Where does Rinpoche find these people?”

          Caroline replies.

          “This is what happens when the guru disappoints us.”

          Jonathan replies.

          “It’s always something.”

          Caroline replies.

          “You either bring what comes up between you and your guru to your practice.”

          Jonathan replies.

          “Or you don’t.”

          Caroline replies.

          “It’s all good, regardless.”

          Jonathan replies.

          “Your guru doesn’t care what you think of him or her.”

          • Seth

            I don’t really care what ant Rinpoche thinks. As far as I’m concerned, they need to earn my respect and trust.

            Rinpoche has a long way to go to do that!

            • Virginia replies.

              “Rinpoche has nothing to prove to anyone.”

              Virginia replies.

              “He’s not just any Rinpoche either.”

              Jonathan replies.

              “Rinpoche is the son of the 16th Karmapa’s labrang.”

              Caroline replies.

              “In guru yoga trust is always an issue.”

              Caroline continues.

              “Our faith in the guru comes from bringing our distrust of the guru to our practice.”

  3. Seth

    It’s true that he isn’t just any Rinpoche; he’s not a very compelling one. The quality of his students seem to drive this point home.

    There is no way to account for how a student of Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso could turn out so badly.

    • Virginia replies.

      “That’s actually a criticism of the guru yoga of Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso’s students.”

      Virginia continues.

      “If they expect Ponlop Rinpoche to be his guru.”

      Sally replies.

      “I like Karl Brunnholzl.”

      Sally adds.

      “Isn’t he a student of Ponlop?”

      Jonathan replies.

      “When I was at KIBI Karl saved my life.”

      Caroline replies.

      “How about Khenpo’s secretary and translator, Ari Goldfield.”

      Caroline replies.

      “What does he think of what became of Ponlop?”

      Jonathan replies.

      “As a disciple of Khenpo it’s all just part of his guru yoga.”

      Allen replies.

      “It’s all just appearance-emptiness.”

      Allen continues.

      “How wonderful!”

      Caroline replies.

      “That’s what Khenpo would say.”

    • Sally begins.

      “Now this is interesting.”

      Caroline adds.

      “On multiple levels.”

      Sally replies.

      “It seems like His Holiness has the wrong end of the stick.”

      Virginia replies.

      “Weariness with the world is a Buddhist virtue.”

      Sally replies.

      “Is that what this is.”

      Virginia replies.

      “Just do what your local lama tells you to do.”

      Virginia replies.

      “We represent what His Holiness wants.”

      Sally replies.

      “That’s not what His Holiness told Huffington Post earlier this year.”

      Virginia replies.

      “You were obviously mistaken.”

      • Ted

        Question: is Tsurphu Labrang out of its own loop?

        Or are they trying to shut others down because of the problems created when people freely express themselves.

        The Labrang lives in a political world, one can’t have the masses screwing things up, right?

        • Virginia begins.

          “Shut it all down.”

          Virginia replies.

          “It’s time to get back to basics.”

          Karl replies.

          “There is nothing you want more than this.”

          Sally replies.

          “I thought His Holiness was different.”

          Virginia replies.

          “You thought wrong.”

  4. Seth

    We got everything covered here:

    • Sally begins.

      “Who are these people in this video?”

      Caroline replies.

      “They represent Ogyen Trinley Dorje.”

      Sally replies.

      “Is this what the Vajrayana looks like?”

      Caroline replies.

      “No.”

      Jonathan replies.

      “KTD is a monastery.”

  5. Phil

    Lol.

    Forget the complexities of karma mudra and go for karma yoga! They get ya every time!!!

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