Milarepa’s idea of “Enlightenment in one lifetime,”or bust…

Vajradhara’s cockpit like Shakespeare’s,

All the world’s our stage,

Our shrine room,

Every time we perform our version of the “Chariot that Carries Us Along,” as Tibetans have for generations since Marpa’s gangster dharma that made Milarepa wish he was dead,

Those masters that preceded us in the the art of Mahamudra, so freely transmitted to our privileged generation of Western college aged Punks that came of age during Ronald Reagan’s “Wonder Years” and have lived long enough to grow old in the “Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue” that is retirement in Donald Trump’s” America here in Beach Park,

Illinois, here on the western shoreline of Lake Michigan,

We offer the universe in this mandala to Alan Ginsburg’s precious Guru,

Three miles from the exact spot that the 16th Karmapa passed into Parinirvana 39 years ago.

Not bad for a new hire at Prudential Insurance Company, a degree in Sociology, and hardcore desire to never again have to be born, ready to put ngondro into practice, Milarepa’s “Enlightenment in one lifetime,”or bust.

Growing old in a Vajrayana that ruined so many young lives in the name of preserving Tibetan Buddhism

Those of us that in our interest in learning to meditate burned the brightest in our youth, choosing to prostrate ourselves before so-called masters to the horror of our friends and families whom we harmed in the process when we took refuge with these Tibetan monks living in exile that arrived in our respective countries in the West over the years in the name of preserving Tibetan Buddhism, as a whole, we can say most of us chose poorly in whom we chose to sacrifice so much of our young lives to.

Tibetan Buddhism has trafficked in children for centuries, middle aged monks separating young boys from their families as reincarnations to be psychologically, physically, and sexually abused by these men, a practice that continues to this very day in monasteries across Nepal, India, and Bhutan. It happened to the reincarnation of Kalu Rinpoche. It happened to the reincarnation of Jamgon Kongtrol Rinpoche. To name but two of the most horrifying examples of children we trusted some of the biggest names in Tibetan Buddhism of the late 20th centuries. The young men that raped Kalu Rinpoche remain to this day unpunished by Ogyen Trinley Dorje, the 17th Karmapa, a victim himself of monks using children to advance their careers as celebrated Tibetan Buddhists.

Ngondro helps, the one practice available to us all as practitioners of the Vajrayana but practiced to completion rarely beyond those of us that live in retreat, those of us have burned their bridges to their former lives, including our lives as Tibetan Buddhists and live for nothing other than the blessings and protection of the four empowerments of an unbroken lineage of self-liberation that reaches back through the centuries to the original Buddha himself.

The 21st century has seen the total repudiation of the Tibetan Buddhism of the sect which produced my guru, the Karma Kagyu sect associated with Ogyen Trinley Dorje, China’s disgraced 17th Karmapa whom hasn’t been seen in public for years since the Panama Papers scandal and his subsequent mental breakdown.

Thirty nine years ago when I took refuge I did so to move forward in my life. Rinpoche offered me a path forward always available to me regardless of the obstacle I felt was holding me back in my life, the true nature of the mind which he pointed out to me and the ngondro he instructed me to practice as his disciple to this day has inspired me to go where so few of the Tibetans I admired in the past ever lived to experience, so many of my favorites tragically dying long before their time. Where they failed I continue to move forward. As we all must if their lineage has any hope of surviving the Tibetan Buddhism they dedicated their lives to preserving.

Karpo, Marpo, Ngonpo, (secret); White, Red, Blue, (secret); Body, Speech, Mind, (secret)….

This is where Rinpoche started with me as a disciple 39 years ago. It was our first sit down together. We met the night before in Bob and Colleen’s kitchen. Rinpoche was in his room. Colleen had made tea and asked Khenpo Karthar if he wanted some. And there he was as if summoned from my imagination, a middle aged Tibetan in the robes of a Karma Kagyu monk.

Up until that moment I had thought I wanted to be a Zen Buddhist. I had been sitting, following Shunryu Suzuki’s instructions (Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind), since the summer of 1979. It changed my life, as much as it took to change my life as an 18 year old.

Since Spring I had been sitting with Bob and Colleen twice a week in their living room. Bob had placed an ad in the Chicago Reader classified section. “Free meditation instruction in the Tibetan Tradition.” I called. It turned out we were neighbors. It wasn’t what I was looking for as a Buddhist but I was new to Chicago and it was nice to know somebody. They had a small child which made for a challenging dynamic to work with as meditators. The discussions afterwards were as rewarding as the time spent trying to meditate.

Rinpoche’s instructions that Bob and Colleen had received, much through the grape vine, mostly Ngodrup, Rinpoche’s translator, and Kathy in Columbus, Ohio, guided us in these early months together. To my mind Tibetan Buddhism was for Tibetans, as the name implied. The Vajrayana was nothing but magical thinking. Yet here we were under the guidance of Khenpo Karthar putting his instructions into practice together as we moved forward into our respective lives and the people we were to become as adults.

When Rinpoche entered the small kitchen I stood up and prostrated before him. I don’t know where that came from. We did prostrations when we entered Bob and Colleen’s living room shrine as we decided at the time to be the routine we would follow. I had no issue with following their example. I had never prostrated before another person though so finding myself prostrating before Khenpo Karthar took me by surprise.

For Rinpoche we were his first disciples. Among Tibetans he was just a monk. But for Bob and Colleen he wasn’t a nobody that nobody sent for. “We-don’t-want- nobody-nobody-sent-for” as they would say in Chicago back then. Rinpoche was sent to us by the Karmapa himself.

The next day I had Rinpoche and Ngodrup to myself for the afternoon. We sat in the sun room off of the living room in the front of Bob and Colleen’s third floor Rogers Park apartment on Bosworth Avenue. The western exposure bathed us in a September light that afternoon. And the three of us talked and listened to each other.

It was as if we would never again have the opportunity to speak together like this. It was a now or never kind of situation. No stone was left unturned as such. In the end Rinpoche grasped both my hands and placed his forehead to mine and told me we would never again be apart, in the words of the final lines of the Mahamudra Ngondro I have practiced daily ever since.

The blind leading the blind, Like a deer in the headlights

What 6 hour of ngondro looks like on a fitness tracker

Ten years after the widow-maker. Permanent damage to both left and right ventricle. Two stents. No hope of recovery, and so on.

À quoi ressemble 6 heures de ngondro sur un tracker de fitness

Dix ans après le fabricant de veuves. Dommages permanents aux ventricules gauche et droit. Deux stents. Aucun espoir de guérison, etc.

How the Guru takes the best of people to bring out their worst to accomplish the otherwise impossible in one lifetime

My late mother liked to tell people how normal a kid I was when I left Quebec in 1976. I don’t know how normal a kid I was. Quebec in June of that year was on the brink of voting René Lévesque into power. For those unfamiliar with the Canadian history, long story short, if you weren’t French this was the end of the line for Anglophones treating Francophones like second class citizens in what once was their country when France was a colonial power in North America prior to its defeat at Quebec City in September 13, 1759. I was a good kid though. I didn’t do drugs, drink, and so on as so many of my peers did at Richelieu Valley Regional High School did in the 1970’s.

To be continued….

Comment le Guru prend le meilleur des gens pour faire ressortir leur pire pour accomplir l’impossible en une vie

Ma défunte mère aimait dire aux gens à quel point j’étais un enfant normal lorsque j’ai quitté le Québec en 1976. Je ne sais pas à quel point j’étais un enfant normal. Le Québec, en juin de cette année-là, était sur le point de voter René Lévesque au pouvoir. Pour ceux qui ne connaissent pas l’histoire canadienne, en bref, si vous n’étiez pas français, c’était la fin de la ligne pour les anglophones traitant les francophones comme des citoyens de seconde zone dans ce qui était autrefois leur pays lorsque la France était une puissance coloniale en Amérique du Nord avant sa défaite à Québec le 13 septembre 1759. J’étais pourtant un bon gamin. Je ne me droguais pas, je ne buvais pas, etc. comme beaucoup de mes camarades de l’école secondaire régionale de Richelieu Valley le faisaient dans les années 1970.

À suivre…

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche message on COVID-19 outbreak (YouTube)

I submit the following message for your consideration this morning.

My guru never spoke about the AIDS epidemic.

Others did, and people died.

One told his disciples they didn’t have to practice safe sex.

They died.

Live and learn.

Never ask a Tibetan for advice.

Teachings, yes, advice, no.

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche is different in this regard.

Thanks to us.

We made this happen.

A Tibetan that can open his mouth in public without embarrassing us.

The Black Hatted Chickadees at the sight of HHK16’s Parinirvana

I’m reminded of the 16th Karmapa’s love of birds this morning. The Black Hats were the first to visit my bird feeder since I moved in. The sparrows prefer the seeds left where they can eat together.

HHK16 with birds

Solitude in the age of pandemic

Take it from from someone that has been in retreat since 2006. It is hard on the ego to live in isolation. I had not realized how much I got from being around people on a daily basis.

At the southern gate of the site of the 16th Karmapa’s Parinirvana

Entering the field of merit, like a deer

Hello Dorje Bernagchen, I see you Vajrayogini

Following my breath, one step at a time

Hello Dorje Bernagchen, I see you Vajrayogini

At the southern gate of the site of HHK16’s Parinirvana